Flasher

Friday, May 27, 2005

Sms Messages

If I have the letters 'HRT', I could add 'EA' to get a 'HEART' or 'U' and get 'HURT'. I'd choose 'U' and get 'HURT' than have a 'HEART' without 'U'.

If I can't have the earth, I shall have the sky. If I can't have you, at least I can have the dream of you FOREVER

When U were born, U were crying while av1 around U was smiling. Live life so that when U die, U're the one smiling while AV1 around U crying.

Never take for granted everyone person close to ur heart, coz you might wake up 1 day and realize that you've lost a diamond coz you're too busy collecting stones.

Its difficult to find someone like U. Its like opening a 100 shells under the sea 2 find 1 pearl, but finding U makes the dive worthwhile.

I opened my wallet and I find it empty, reached into my pocket and found a few coins, searched my heart and I found U. Then I realised how rich I am,

Death

"Nothing is certain in life except DEATH"

So why are we so afraid of Death? When someone pass away, one will cry, mourn, and do whatever everyone see during a funeral. Every religion has their own ways to cater to this occassion. In religion terms, when someone dies, it's most likely ppl say that they're on their way to heaven... which isn't it a nice thing?

Think about it?
You're staying with your family.
Working ppl will be working most of the days, and nights will out with friends, colleagues or functions. You're not seeing/missing the person right? WHY? because you know that they're still here/there tomorrow. So we will delay whatever till another day/time. Is this the way it should be? Only to show one's emotion when you realise that there's no tomorrow, only then you'll feel regret of not doing the things that you could have?

In chinese culture, when someone dies at the age of around 80/90, the occassion should be a happy 1, and not a sad 1. WHY? It is said that the person had lead a happy life/a full life.. so we should not be sad. Why does it apply now and not to everyone?

Everyone can be said to have lead a complete life eventho its short. So why do we have to take things so hard.. The person is never away if you always remembers them in your heart which in term is always right there with you. All you have to do is just to think back on them and you'll feel their presence. Right?

So now, back to the question of death. Since we're born, we've already put in line to the death counter. Its just that sometimes ppl will JUMP the queue without realising it...

So do not wait till tomorrow the things that can be done today. Go to your loved ones, and just show them that you know that they're there, and how u felt about them before its too late!!!


Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Computer Terms and its Meaning

ISDN - It Still Does Nothing

APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit Losing Entity

SCSI - System Can't See It

DOS - Defunct Operating System

BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

IBM - I Blame Microsoft

IBM - Its Better Manually

DEC - Do Expect Cuts

CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too

PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

NTSC - Never Twice the Same Colour

NTSC - Never The Same Colour twice

WWW - World Wide Wait

MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Think About IT


  • Life without danger is a waste of oxygen.
  • I fought the lawn, and the lawn won!
  • Life in a vacuum sucks
  • You'll get what's coming to you ... Unless mailed
  • Two wrongs are only the beginning.
  • You're only young once; you can be immature f'ever.
  • "Suicide Hotline...please hold."
  • All work and no play, will make you a manager.
  • As I said before, I never repeat myself.
  • A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing..
  • Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.
  • Don't confuse me with facts, my mind's already made up.
  • Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
  • Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
  • I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
  • Just what part of "NO" didn't you understand...?
  • hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
  • Sign on baby's bib: SPIT HAPPENS.
  • ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
  • A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
  • Conserve energy... fart in a jar
  • Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy..
  • I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow
  • isn't looking good either.
  • There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
  • There are 3 kinds of people in this world...those you want things to happen, those that make things happen, and those who just wonder what the hell happened!
  • Frogs have it easy. They can eat what bugs them.
  • Where there's smoke, you'll find my wife cooking dinner.
  • Join the army! Travel the world, Meet interesting people, and kill them.
  • Two rights do not make a wrong. They make an airplane.
  • Me, Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
  • I was only looking at your name tag, honest.
  • Quick, call a witch doctor! My witch is sick.
  • Strip mining prevents forest fires.
  • Endless Love: Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.
  • KENTUCKY: Five million people, Fifteen last names.
  • Forget the Joneses. I can't keep up with the Simpsons.
  • Jesus saves sinners and redeems them for cash and valuable prizes.
  • Can I trade this job for what's behind door # 2.
  • For Sale: Taliban rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
  • The faulty interface lies between the chair and the keyboard.
  • Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
  • Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
  • Life is Uncertain... Eat dessert first!
  • When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
  • Dont hate me because I'm beautiful - hate me because your boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful!
  • Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.
  • You can't scare me. I drive a school bus!
  • Life without danger is a waste of oxygen.
  • I've discovered that I often visit the state of confusion, and I know my way around pretty well.
  • Smile, everyone loves a moron.
  • My family puts the "fun" back in dysFUNctional.
  • Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.
  • Ah, yes, divorce......., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, I once thought I was ugly, until I saw you!
  • Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one!
  • My computer NEVER cras...DOH!.
  • Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster!
  • You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
  • How does Avon find so many women willing to take orders?
  • Looking for a helping hand? There's one on your arm.
  • My mind works like lightning... one brilliant flash and it's gone.
  • Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent.
  • Sometimes you're the bug, and sometimes you're the windshield..
  • Next time you wave at me, use more than one finger, please!.
  • I would like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
  • I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
  • Drunk!...naught me - I'm Serfectly Pober Occifer!
  • I know Karate, Kung Fu, and 47 other dangerous words.
  • I always lie. In fact, I'm lying to you right now!
  • Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!
  • FOR SALE: 1 set of morals, never used, will sell cheap.
  • Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system.
  • Don't play stupid with me - I'm better at it!
  • Don't ask me, I'm making this up as I go!.
  • Dime: a dollar with all the taxes taken out.
  • Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it!
  • Crime, Sex, Alcohol, Drugs...Boy do I love Congress!
  • Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary!
  • Bigamy: one wife too many. Monogamy: same thing.
  • Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray...
  • My wife ran away with my best friend. I sure miss him.
  • No amount of planning will ever replace dumb luck.
  • Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig enjoys it.
  • The trouble with life is that you're half-way through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.
  • If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
  • The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
  • You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core... I like that in a person!
  • I'm not crazy; I'm just a sane person trapped in the body of a lunatic.
  • I've given up trying to escape from reality; they always find me anyway.
  • Everything I need to know I got from watching Gilligan's Island.
  • Famous last words: What happens if you touch these two wires tog--ahhhhhhhhhh.
  • If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
  • Happiness is your Mother-In-Law's Picture on the Back of a Milk Carton.
  • This website may not be idiot proof, but at least it's dimwit resistant.
  • Don't worry about temptation--as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.
  • The two most dangerous things in the world: A Pollock with a computer and a programmer with a screwdriver.
  • I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
  • You're not an alcoholic unless you go to the meetings.
  • Support bacteria, it's the only culture some people have.
  • A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
  • They told me I was gullible, and I believed them.
  • Reality is a nice place, but I wouldn't want to live there.
  • Just plead the Fifth -- or drink it -- either way.
  • Don't play with your food, especially after you've already eaten it.
  • Death is life's way of telling you - you're fired.
  • Live fast, die young, and leave a good looking corpse behind.
  • Gravity is a myth, the Earth sucks.
  • Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.
  • I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
  • Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free.
  • He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.
  • Who puts those "Thin Ice" signs out there.
  • Where there's a will, there's an attorney.

Flasher

Flasher
17 May 2005,

British India is now hiring Operation Executive and clerks. If you're interested, please send in your resume to hr@bi.com.my

Friday, May 13, 2005

Relationship

RELATIONSHIP


Relationships are like a pair of shoes,
When you see a pair you like, you get them,
But when they get old and ugly, you dump them.

But imagine you find a pair you really like,
No matter how much it cost, you'll get them,
You'll take care of them no matter what,
And put them on, day in and day out.

Imagine this scenario now !
The shoes get too old and ugly,
It's beyond repair and no longer of any value,
What would you do?
That's the question I pose to you.

Do you treat them like other shoes and dump them?
OR
Do you keep the shoes in a lovely box?
Think............

Well, what I'm trying to put across is that relationships,
No matter whether they are:
Boy Girl Relationships;
Good Friends;
Brothers and Sisters;

Should be tolerant of each other,
When you find the right one,
Treasure and take care of them,
BUT!
When they become old and of no value,
Don't dump them but still treasure them,
And remain as close from THEN to ETERNITY!

Friendship is not only about sharing good times and laughter,
But also sorrows and troubled times,
And helping each other out in times of need.

Don't let petty quarrels get in the way of your relationship,
Communications is the only way to bring a relationship closer,
And if there is a breakdown, I guess it will slowly drift away.

"A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED"


~Dr. Shivan~

Confucius Sez

  • Woman who go to man's apartment for snack, gets tit-bit.
  • Man who gets kicked in balls, left holding the bag.
  • Passionate kiss like spider web ... lead to undoing of fly.
  • Man with hole in pocket, feel cocky all day.
  • Virginity like balloon ... one prick, all gone.
  • Girl who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.
  • Man who farts in church, sits in own pew.
  • Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.
  • Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
  • Man with penis in peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.
  • Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
  • Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.
  • Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.
  • Woman who fly upside down, have crack up.
  • Man who go to bed with question of sex on mind wake up with solution well in hand.
  • Girl who do back spring on bedspring have offspring next spring
  • Secretary not permanent, till screwed on desk.
  • A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.
  • Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!
  • Man who run behind car get exhausted.
  • Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
  • Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
  • He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
  • Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss balloons.
  • Man who lose key to apartment not get new key.
  • Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
  • Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
  • He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
  • Elevator smell different to midget.
  • He who fishes in another man's well often catches crab.
  • Wife who put man in dog house find him in cat house.
  • Man who farts in church sits alone in pew.
  • Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
  • Man who marries a girl with no bust has right to feel low down.
  • Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
  • Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.
  • Woman who springs on inner-spring this spring, gets off-spring next spring
  • Nail on board is not good as screw on bench.
  • Short man who dance with tall woman get bust in mouth.
  • Man who lay woman on ground has peace on earth.
  • Man who sleep on railroad tracks wake up with split personality.
  • Baseball very strange game. How can man with 4 balls walk?
  • Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.
  • Woman who spends much time on bedspring, may have offspring.
  • Man and mouse alike, both end up in pussy.
  • Man who sucks nipples make clean breast of things.
  • Man who fights with wife all day, gets no peace at night.
  • Man who snatches kisses when young, kisses snatches when old.
  • Wife who slides down banister makes monkey shine.
  • Girl who douches with vinegar walk around with sour puss.
  • He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.
  • Man who have head up ass, have shitty outlook on life.
  • Man who have hand in pocket not just jingling change.
  • A streaker is someone who is unsuited for his work.
  • He who make oral love to epileptic woman may get tongue-tied.
  • He who make love to exhaust pipe of car have hot rod.
  • Epileptic woman who give blow-job may bite big one.
  • Sleepy man who stand behind car get exhausted.
  • Sleepy man who stand in front of car get tired.
  • Man who go to bed with itchy ass, wakes up with smelly fingers.
  • Man who stand on toilet, must be high on pot.
  • Man who have hand in pockets, not crazy, just feeling nuts.

Flash - Day 1

Well been thru 1 whole day trying hard to follow the almost easy self tutorial in the Help file. I can start to do some neat stuff with Flash like making an object move, change colours, shapes and sizes... ^_^, time to learn more and hopefully can publish a full complete flash website by the end of the month...

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Meaning Of M'sian TELCO

010 - ART 900 - Always Repair Telephone

011 - ATUR - Absolutely Terrible and Useless Radiophone

012 - Maxis - Moronic And Xtremely Inferior System

013 - TM Touch - Too Many TMTouch Owners Usually Change Handphones

016 - DiGi 1800 - Don't Invest in Garbage Instruments

017 - ADAM - Always Dropping And Malfunctioning

018 - Mobifon - Most Often Bought In Fake Obnoxious Nightmarkets

019 - CELCOM - Cannot Enjoy Line Clarity on Outgoing Messages

Zen of LIfe

  1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
  2. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone.
  3. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
  4. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
  5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
  7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  9. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
  10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
  12. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  13. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
  14. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
  15. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
  16. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  17. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
  18. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  19. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
  20. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
  21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
  22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  23. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  24. The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.

A to Z of being a Singaporean

Always must win Never mind what they think
Borrow but never return Outdo everyone you know
Cheap is good Pay only when necessary
Don't trust anyone Quit while you are ahead
Everything also must grab! Rushing and pushing wins the race
Free! Free! Free! Sample are always welcome
Grab first talk later Take but don't give
Help yourself to everything Unless it's free forget it
I first, I want, I everything Vow to be number one
Jump queue Winner takes it ALL! ALL! ALL!
Keep coming back for more Yell if necessary to get what you want
Look for discount Zebras are kiasu because they want to
Must not lose face be both black and white at the same time

Beginner Experience using FLASH..

Today's the first time I'll be playing/learning of how to use this G8 software named FLASH from Macromedia hopefully to create my own website. I've been so fascinated with all of its capabilities that you can do so much of really neat stuff with it. It can be used to do presentation (powerpoint), Websites (frontpage/dreamweaver), Installation file, etc.. and with unlimited flexibilityonly limited to your imagination and skills.

Hopefully I can get a grip on the much required skills to start off using this software.
Anyone with experience with FLASH, feel free to give hints & tips.